06/22/2026
Jacob's Massage Therapist, Pam, came over today to give Jacob his weekly massage… and left looking like she’d survived a water‑park ride she never signed up for.
At one point she went to the restroom. What she didn’t know is that years ago we installed a bidet seat for Jacob — and the handle sticks off the side in the exact spot you’d expect a flusher to be.
Well… Pam hit the “flusher.”
Except it wasn’t the flusher.
It was the launch sequence.
Our bidet has a delayed reaction, so she pushed the handle and nothing happened… at first. Then the little sprayer slowly extended itself out of the toilet like it was introducing itself. Pam, confused, leaned in closer to inspect this mysterious object emerging from the seat.
And that’s when the bidet said:
“Target acquired.”
It blasted her straight into Pam.
Shirt soaked. Floor soaked. Pride soaked.
She came out of the bathroom looking like she’d been baptized by a fire hose.
She said she couldn’t figure out how to turn it off, so she just slammed the toilet seat shut and surrendered. Barb had to clean the bathroom like we’d hosted a kiddie pool party in there.
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